Department of Inappropriate Memorials

Department of Inappropriate Memorials
WTF people.Click on the pic and wonder what happened to America's dign...

Spotted: 2007 Mini Cooper Braveheart Edition

Spotted: 2007 Mini Cooper Braveheart Edition
A Mini with a Union Jack on the roof ain't exactly news, but apparently in the U.K. you can get one with a St Andrew's Cross too. Kinda cool.Mini Stal...

"8-Track Player Not Included": 1973 Reliant Scimitar GTE

"8-Track Player Not Included": 1973 Reliant Scimitar GTE
Like a Volvo 1800ES, only ugly, and terrible.Click on the pic to check out the auct...

"Looks Good In the Pictures, Doesn't It?": 1983 Mercedes 380 SEC

"Looks Good In the Pictures, Doesn't It?": 1983 Mercedes 380 SEC
"Well…it's not!" Still, no reserve, and at £500 it's a steal (assuming it runs). Can't you imagine Hooky driving this? I can.Click on the pic to check out the auct...

If Only I Had a Cornish Garage: 1972 Lancia Fulvia

If Only I Had a Cornish Garage: 1972 Lancia Fulvia
Cheap and rad. "Waxoyled" though? Anyone?Click on the pic to check out the auct...

Past the Leisure Centre, Left at the Lights: 1986 Ford Capri Laser

Past the Leisure Centre, Left at the Lights: 1986 Ford Capri Laser
I know what you're thinking: they were still building Capris in 1986? But don't you just wish we lived here and could buy something like this? With a "1.6 pinto engine" and a new exhaust "to replace the rotten old one"? Click on the pic to check out the auct...

Phenomena Science Cannot Explain Away: 1982 Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel Pickup

Phenomena Science Cannot Explain Away: 1982 Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel Pickup
Okay, lemme get this straight: a Volkswagen pickup, a diesel Volkswagen pickup, a diesel Volkswagen pickup with a hundred and sixty-seven thousand miles on it is looking like it's going to crest the five-thousand-dollar mark. A freakish anomaly, or is this the market pointing out a gaping hole in the line-ups of every manufacturer currently selling automobiles in North America? When's that new Mini pickup due, anyway?Click on the pic to check out the auct...

Hallucinations of Grandeur: 1980 Ford Thunderbird

Hallucinations of Grandeur: 1980 Ford Thunderbird
"Tomorrows [sic] Vintage Muscle Car" ftw!Click on the pic to check out the auct...

I ♥ the 80s: 1980 Subaru 1600 DL-5

I ♥ the 80s: 1980 Subaru 1600 DL-5
Why come no one is bidding on this? Sure the vinyl half-roof is kinda weird, but c'mon, the thing is freakin' immaculate! And with O.G. Oregon plates! Less than half the price of an M1!Click on the pic to check out the auct...

Dept. of WTF: 1980 BMW M1

Dept. of WTF: 1980 BMW M1
Is it just me, or is there something fishy going on with the above listing for this most dignified and appealing of '70s supercars? Because you know, I actually do have fifty-six hundred dollars for a reasonably lightweight mid-mounted twin-cam straight six wrapped in Giugiaro's finest, dual-roundels or not.Click on the pic to view the highly suspect auct...

I ♥ the 80s: 1982 Dodge Mirada

I ♥ the 80s: 1982 Dodge Mirada
If Chrysler's new owners (whoever they are ... does anyone know?) were really savvy, they'd resurrect the Dodge Mirada nameplate. Tap into America's collective memory. Leverage that heritage.Click on the pic to check out the...

I ♥ the 80s: 1986 Aston Martin Zagato

I ♥ the 80s: 1986 Aston Martin Zagato
Man I'd completely forgotten about these. Kinda hideous, in retrospect, but oddly appealing, especially in profile. Perhaps the most quintessentially 80s car ever.Click on the pic to check out the...

ESL Moments: 1990 Buick LeSabre

ESL Moments: 1990 Buick LeSabre
Seller just installed a "sepinteen" belt. Also, is tired of "all fake scam and foreigner people wasting my time." ACT LIKE AN ADULT!Click on the pic to check out the...

Spotted: 1976 Custom Cloud

Spotted: 1976 Custom Cloud
It's a Monte! It's a Rolls! It apparently provoked a copyright infringement lawsuit! Critical addition to this example: stickers on rear bumper and driver's side door reading "SINGLE 312-512-4858." Oh yes.Fake Rolls Stal...

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1987 Jaguar XJ6

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1987 Jaguar XJ6
Click on the pic to check out the...

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1974 Plymouth Duster

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1974 Plymouth Duster
Click on the pic to check out the...

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1994 Buick Riviera

Gerhard Richter Used Autos: 1994 Buick Riviera
Click on the pic to check out the...

If Only I Had a Garage: 1979 Lancia Zagato

If Only I Had a Garage: 1979 Lancia Zagato
A Lancia Zagato that runs! Although, with no fuel injection, "it will give you Options to work on it if you like." Hmmmf. Think I'll stick with the Beta.Click on the pic to check out the auct...

If Only I Had a Garage: 1980 Lancia Beta

If Only I Had a Garage: 1980 Lancia Beta
A Lancia Beta that runs! Me want!Click on the pic to check out the auct...

A Bargain at Twice the Price: 1986 Mercury Cougar

A Bargain at Twice the Price: 1986 Mercury Cougar
Like the rest of their Mercury stablemates, '80s Cougars were styled in a manner that can really only be described as confusing, but with the passing of time their weirdness has grown oddly appealing to me. With three days remaining the four bidders here have managed to boost the going price on this example to a formidable seventy-three cents. "Reserve not met."Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Just an Observation Dept.

Just an Observation Dept.
The biggest difference between the guy driving the M3 and the guy driving the IROC is how much they paid for their colog...

Hummers Are for Pussies: 1988 Lamborghini LM002

Hummers Are for Pussies: 1988 Lamborghini LM002
Trust me: Back before massively overpowered SUVs became the grocery-getting choice of soccer moms everywhere, and back before driving a great hulking military vehicle on public roads became a fashionable way for American males to compensate for their proverbial shortcomings, and back when the idea of an exoticar manufacturer building a high-performance off-road vehicle seemed utterly outrageous instead of a predictable, insufferably lame concession to the marketing department? This was fucking cool.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Tony Orlando and Dawn: 1985 Chevrolet Camaro

Tony Orlando and Dawn: 1985 Chevrolet Camaro
Rollin' on forty-fours, yo. Also? "The windshild is cracked up from trees so it will need to be replace." [sic] An unforgettable summer, here for the taking.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Yes, Master: 1991 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon

Yes, Master: 1991 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon
So bad-ass. I wouldn't change a thing.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Do It In a Datsun: 1972 Datsun 510

Do It In a Datsun: 1972 Datsun 510
Gotta wonder if seller has coaxed all those disparate components (610? 240Z? 280ZX? Camaro? Jetta?) into anything like a cohesively functioning whole, but I've always had a thing for the poor man's 2002 and this one looks seriously sweet in its primer and faux-Minilites.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

When Anachronisms Attack: "1937" Gatsby Roadster

When Anachronisms Attack: "1937" Gatsby Roadster
Unclear from seller's description what part of this vehicle has anything to do whatsoever with the year 1937; looks to me rather like this is the worst thing that's ever happened to a poor little MGB. But hey, it drives like a dreem!Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

News Flash: California Senators Are Dumb

News Flash: California Senators Are Dumb
Call causes cell phone ban senator to crash ...

News Flash: College Students Are Dumb

News Flash: College Students Are Dumb
Many U.S. students think Land Rover, Lexus are Ameri...

Freud Was Right: 1951 Studebaker Champion Business Coupe

Freud Was Right: 1951 Studebaker Champion Business Coupe
I totally had a dream this morning in which I was driving a Studebaker just like this one. At nine grand it will remain a dream.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Just for the Lulz: 1987 Mitsubishi Tredia LS

Just for the Lulz: 1987 Mitsubishi Tredia LS
Sadly, seller neglects to tell us exactly how much downforce that wing generates. One of the more curious candidates for hot-rodding, um, maybe ever? Dude's right though: it is a rare bird. But yeah, I'm holding out for a Cordia.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

To Whom Would You Give a Volvo?

To Whom Would You Give a Volvo?
Am I the only one who winces every time he hears this stupid slog...

Bad Decisions: 1980 Chevrolet Corvette

Bad Decisions: 1980 Chevrolet Corvette
Worst Corvette ever? You could make a solid argument for a late-model C3 like this one, from the absolute nadir of GM quality control and powered (?) by its emasculated 350 cranking out a breathless 190 horsepower. It's easy to forget how bad cars were in the late '70s and early '80s, which might explain the current bid here.Nice tires, too. (And nice video, especially the one where the douchebag is shooting it while driving down the freeway. Would you buy a used car from this man? I wouldn't.)Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Impersonal Luxury: 1989 Volvo 780 Bertone Turbo Coupe

Impersonal Luxury: 1989 Volvo 780 Bertone Turbo Coupe
Successor to the defiantly weird chop-top Bertone coupe of the late '70s, I distinctly remember my friend Marty once likening this car's real-life presence to that of a Ferrari 400. Maybe I'm missing something. Still, a handsome car if you can get past the weird interior, and at 100,000 miles a Volvo is just hitting puberty. Not bad for three grand.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Depreciation Special: 1997 Jaguar XK8

Depreciation Special: 1997 Jaguar XK8
Seventy grand new, now you can get one for ten. Detractors accused Jaguar of being retro and backward-looking throughout the '90s but I could give a shit: I vividly recall the first time I saw one of these cars on the street and a decade later they still floor me. The only dilemma would be choosing between the classically beautiful droptop or the equally gorgeous but to my eye even more dramatic coupe. Big, fast, ridiculously luxurious and absolutely stunning.Fucking TEN GRAND!Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Straight Eights: 1940 Buick Series 80 Deluxe

Straight Eights: 1940 Buick Series 80 Deluxe
Why spend three hundred grand on a Phantom when you could get a cool old Buick instead? Totally worth clicking over to the additional photos just for the (unrestored!) interior shots, which evoke not so much your grandparents' automobiles as their living rooms. Magnificent.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Dept. of Kraft durch Freude: das neue Rabbit apparently wasn't enough

Dept. of Kraft durch Freude: das neue Rabbit apparently wasn't enough
Volkswagen, seeking to recapture market-share through continued appeals to nostalgia, attempts to evoke memories of happier da...

Dept. of Labor: A Company You Can Feel Good About

Dept. of Labor: A Company You Can Feel Good About
Ferrari voted "best place to work in Europe"Well duh. (Maybe the benefits package includes track time at Fioran...

Firebird Man: 1972 Pontiac Firebird Esprit

Firebird Man: 1972 Pontiac Firebird Esprit
I kinda don't get all the hoopla surrounding GM's resurrected F-body, in particular the decision to draw exclusively from the first-generation Camaro — which always seemed to me a somewhat lame knee-jerk response to the '64½ Mustang — when the second-generation Firebird/Camaro twins were an absolute revelation. Especially in their earliest, cleanest, most unadorned incarnations, these were utterly gorgeous cars, their subsequent subjugation to the evil forces of '70s decalcomania notwithstanding.This bone-stock Esprit is a perfect and stunning example. I cannot for the life of me understand why...

I ♥ the 80s: 1987 Toyota Tercel Wagon

I ♥ the 80s: 1987 Toyota Tercel Wagon
The birdwatcher special, the original (?) tall wagon, complete with asymmetric tailgate long before it was fashionable. Probably has a lot of life left in it at 114,000 miles, but I'm not sure seller is going to find someone sufficiently enamored to pony up the apparent reserve. If it was a stick, I'd maybe think about it...Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Yes, But How Many Owners?: 1969 Pontiac Bonneville Coupe

Yes, But How Many Owners?: 1969 Pontiac Bonneville Coupe
Also, who am I supposed to call about this car?Don't miss the shocking interior photos.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

I ♥ the 80s: 1985 Audi 5000 Turbo

I ♥ the 80s: 1985 Audi 5000 Turbo
Does anybody else remember what a futuristic mindfuck this car was when it was introduced? With flush-mounted windows and shit? It was so clean as to be almost featureless, sleekly neutered like an automotive Marilyn Manson that you could somehow (strangely) bring home to meet the parents without consequence.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Hairway to Steven: 1988 Alfa Romeo Milano

Hairway to Steven: 1988 Alfa Romeo Milano
I remember a Car and Driver letter writer at the time describing the car as looking as if it'd been designed by "a three-year-old on acid." About six months later I would tire of the construction "like _______ on _______" forever, but at the time it struck me as damn funny. Seems like this would be kinda fun for a thousand bucks.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Overhang? Yes: 1969 Lincoln Continental Mark III

Overhang? Yes: 1969 Lincoln Continental Mark III
I flipped past The French Connection last night and now I can't stop thinking about gigantic Lincolns. I love how the gauge centers look like really cheesy cufflinks. Starting bid of $17,900 though, when I could have the Lagonda for twenty? Pssssh.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

If Only I Had a Garage: 1981 Lancia Beta

If Only I Had a Garage: 1981 Lancia Beta
Is there a lovelier shitbox to be had for under two grand? I think not. Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Lust to Love: 1984 Aston Martin Lagonda

Lust to Love: 1984 Aston Martin Lagonda
Buy-it-now is less than twenty. Fuuuuuuuhhhhhck.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Obligatory Super Bowl Commercial Review: Garmin "Maposaurus" Spot

Obligatory Super Bowl Commercial Review: Garmin "Maposaurus" Spot
Apparently this is an ad for some sort of GPS device. Whatever. The Cortina at the top is a nice, quirky choice, but what clinches it comes half-way through, when dude-bro steps out of a — yes! — honest-to-god NSU. Very cool.Click on the pic to check out the commerci...

Seriously, Fuck a House: 1985 Aston Martin Lagonda

Seriously, Fuck a House: 1985 Aston Martin Lagonda
Completely ridiculous, but I will never not have a boner for this car. It most absolutely did not have an MSRP of almost $200,000 in 1985 though. C'mon dude. Look at the freakin' thing: why would you feel the need to exaggerate about anything?Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Fuck a House: 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX

Fuck a House: 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX
You know...?(Btw the answer to last week's query — somebody give me a reason why I shouldn't buy that Saab — is $1,650 is about exactly what I need to put into the Miata to make him a happy Little Buddy again.)Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Fox in the Snow: 1986 Mercury Lynx

Fox in the Snow: 1986 Mercury Lynx
"The wife has figured out that I will probably not get around to converting this." Damned wives, always ruining the fun.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Fox in the Snow: 1978 Lincoln Town Car

Fox in the Snow: 1978 Lincoln Town Car
The longest production car ever made? Really? Actually I kinda want an early '80s one more. There's an ungainliness to them that's nearly perfect in its awfulness. The CB is tempting though.Click on the pic to check out the aucti...

Fuck a Garage: 1988 Saab 900 SPG

Fuck a Garage: 1988 Saab 900 SPG
Somebody give me a good reason why I shouldn't buy this right now. Click on the pic to check out the aucti...